


Summer Serenade

by naterooni



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, i'll have you know that i have no idea what i'm doing, mostly canon-compliant, oblivious hopeful boys, slight artistic freedom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-11-13 22:05:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11194365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naterooni/pseuds/naterooni
Summary: "For my senior thesis on homoerotic literature based in fictional pop cultural worlds, I wrote a 200k word novel on Jack Morrison and Gabriel Reyes from the video game Overwatch, focused on their time at Jack's family farm during the first summer after they started their military training. It sticks mostly to canon, though I did take some creative liberties when it came to Jack's family and Gabriel's history."





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This begins with Gabe's point of view.

**Gabe**

 

Nobody joins the Army looking for new friends or the love of their life. They join thinking they can help make their country a better place somehow, willing and ready to fight unknown enemies in the name of freedom. Of course, our enemies were known, and took the form of very sentient and very angry robots, but the point still stood. Nobody joined the Army just to meet new people. And they sure as hell didn’t join secret, sketchy, probably illegal experimental programs just for shits and giggles, either.

 

Yet here I am, our summer break fast approaching, tapping my fingers against my thighs anxiously as I stare at the stone-faced man seated at the desk in front of me. The guy sitting next to me, at some awkward stage between boy and man, was completely relaxed and almost leaning back in his chair without a care in the world. The man at the desk, our commanding officer while we stumbled our way through this insane program, made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff before looking up at us, eyes flicking between the two of us before settling on me.

 

“Not going home to see your family, Reyes?” 

 

I cleared my throat and leaned forward slightly, desperately hoping my internal wince stayed hidden. The guy next to me tensed slightly from his ridiculously relaxed pose but didn’t make a sound.

 

“No, sir. My family and I have already discussed the matter.” My wince was not so internal this time, but luckily the man was looking down at the papers in his hands again.

 

The man made another noncommittal sound as he set the thin packet of papers down on his desk, giving them a final once-over before finally signing them. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and relaxed my posture slightly. The guy next to me flashed him a lazy grin and stood with a salute.

 

“Thank you, sir. This is very much appreciated.”

 

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it. You’ll have to figure something else out for next year. Dismissed.”

 

I stood and saluted the man as well before turning on my heel and quickly walking out of the room, trailing close behind my best friend.

 

“See, that wasn’t so bad. What’d I tell you?” He elbowed my side and I glowered at him.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Excuse me for being wary.” He laughed and his whole face lit up, making my heart skip a beat.

 

“Aw, lighten up, Gabe. You had no reason to doubt it would go well. The only thing you have to worry about now is dealing with me for a whole three months. Think you can handle it?”

 

My sullen look turned into a smirk as I not-so-inconspicuously looked him over before shrugging.

 

“Yeah, probably. You think too highly of yourself, farm-boy.”

 

He let out an indignant squawk and elbowed me again, this time earning him a grin. I could never stay upset at him for long, or stay upset in general when he was around despite the tense experience in the office.

 

“Maybe this was a mistake on my part,” he mumbled. I shook away the bad mood as best as I could before laughing and slinging an arm across his shoulders, tugging him close to my side.

 

“Nah. We’ll have a great summer, Jackie. Just you wait.”

 

Walking down the hall away from that too-small office felt like walking towards freedom as I thought about the upcoming summer I’d spend with Jack at his family’s farm in Indiana. It sure beat spending three months alone back in Los Angeles with nothing but cracked streets and bad memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is really short, but it's the shortest chapter I promise. A couple future chapters are already over 2k words so bear with me. I already have 8 chapters written, but I plan to update weekly so I have time to write more and can keep a consistent pattern of updating.
> 
> I...honestly have no idea what I'm doing. This is my first fic ever and already the longest thing I've ever written (over 15k words, nowhere close to done) since I usually write poetry. Please inform me if something seems too out of place.
> 
> Comments, kudos, any and all feedback is welcome!
> 
> Also, the summary is complete bullshit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice this is in Jack's point of view.

**Jack**

 

We were sitting in our dorm after a long day of training, my hair still wet from the shower I just got back from and his just starting to puff into little curls again. He hadn’t bothered to dry his hair after his shower, which was unusual, but the fervor with which he scratched his pencil against the open sketchbook in front of him was even more out of character. I had seen him draw only a few times before despite being his roommate and closest friend, and each of those times he was calm. He’d been almost lazily dragging his pencil across the page, a faint smile and gentle expression on his face. Now, he was almost scowling at the paper as he scribbled rapid lines with a sense of urgency.

 

I leaned back against the wall next to my bed and watched him with silent curiosity. What was he drawing that had him so upset? There wasn’t anything in the room that was particularly interesting, and definitely nothing that could spark such intense emotion. The other times he drew, we’d be outside on a rare free day, or he’d be blatantly not paying attention in our few sit-down-and-take-notes classes, and he’d draw whatever caught his eye. His sketchbook was full of doodles of trees and their avian inhabitants, the wide sprawl of the base we trained at, and sleeping classmates. His ability to draw so many different things with such attention to detail never failed to amaze me.

 

The sound of a page turning snapped me back to the present, where Gabe wasn't peacefully sketching the world around him but instead almost angrily recreating a memory that he couldn’t get to go away. He was a master of suppression, often choosing to ignore and push down any bad memory that surfaced and the emotion that came with it. We had spent many nights in the same bed by now, holding each other tightly as I tried to calm him down from nightmares or vague feelings of dread, rubbing his back and humming softly until he fell back asleep. Though more often than not, we both stayed awake for the rest of the night and he felt guilty about keeping me from sleeping. I’d shrug it off, pretending it was no big deal, but it was. I wanted him to know that I’d stay up all night every night to make sure he felt safe and calm, that losing a few hours of sleep a couple of nights a week was no problem at all, especially if I got to hold him close and rock him slowly until he felt calm and peaceful again.

 

I was the only person on base, probably the only person in the world now, who knew about his hobby. Gabe wasn’t one to let many emotions or personal aspects show around others, and had earned himself a bit of a rep as a hardass for that. Most people thought the reputation was true, the few people who actually talked to him almost regularly knew he was a pretty dynamic and interesting person, but only I knew the truth. Gabriel Reyes had a soft heart, kind soul, and monumental trust issues. It took him weeks to feel comfortable enough to sleep through the night without waking up every half hour and watching me for signs of ill intent. I would always be sound asleep, but he was never sure. It took him just as long to open up even the tiniest bit to me, allowing us to begin along the path from roommates to. . .almost friends. It was like a godsend to me after weeks of near silence.

 

Now here we are, almost a year later, and we are most definitely friends. Best friends, even. Hell, he was going to be living with my family and I back in Indiana for three months with nowhere to run, being surrounded by nothing but cornfields. Even so, he hadn’t told me much about his nightmares beyond them being one of the reasons why he had trouble sleeping and actively engaging in most social situations. I knew he didn’t have any family to return home to anymore, I knew his two-week leave just a month into training almost forced him to completely drop out, and I knew he was already wary of new people before then but had come back almost paranoid. I just had no idea what happened during those two weeks that made him clam up even more. Thinking back on it now, since we have grown so much closer since then, it was incredibly alarming.

 

Looking back over to him, I saw he had stopped drawing and was gripping the pencil tightly in his left hand as he stared at the page in front of him. His mouth was set in a straight line and his eyes were narrowed, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad or what. Probably a wild mix of too many emotions. I silently slid off my bed and crossed the room in a few steps to stand next to his bed. I didn’t look at the sketchbook out of respect for his privacy, I simply stood there to let him know I was here if he needed any comfort. Surprisingly, I didn’t have to wait very long for a reaction from him.

 

“She was the happiest person I had ever known. Even rivaled your sunny disposition.” His voice was barely a whisper, but I had no problem making out his words in our tiny room with my enhanced hearing. “She made the world a better place just by being alive. She was going to make everything better, solve all the problems in the world.” 

 

The soft sound of skin brushing against paper followed his words, and I spared a quick glance down to see him slowly rubbing his thumb across the drawing. It looked like a portrait of a little girl.

 

“And she,” he paused as he flipped the page backwards, “she was the reason I got out of bed every morning. She greeted me with a kiss on my forehead and a bowl of fruit, with a smile and a cheesy quote about confidence every morning.”

 

The silence that followed felt heavy but not in a bad way. It was heavy with emotion, with the admission of months of intense guilt and repressed sadness. I listened patiently, remaining as calm as I could next to him like an anchor in his very tumultuous sea.

 

“And he was something else entirely. He always pushed me to be my best, even when I didn’t want to try. He picked me up as soon as I fell, brushed me off and sent me on my way before I could ask for a break. He meant well, he always did. He had the kindest heart of anyone I had ever met.”

 

His voice cracked on the last few words. I slowly slid to the floor, leaning back against his bed and resting my head near his knee. I could see his body shaking, hear his uneven breathing. I longed to turn around and pull him into the most reassuring hug I could manage, but I didn’t want to smother him. After he took a few steadying breaths, he continued.

 

“And her.” He laughed softly, sounding absolutely heartbroken. It brought tears to my eyes to hear him so upset. “She was perfect. There has never been, nor will there ever be, a better human being. She could turn any situation around into something positive, could cheer anyone up, could make any day better. But if that wasn’t the right approach, she could sit with you for hours in silence and feel sad with you. She was a constant in everyone’s lives. I never thought she’d be gone.”

 

He trailed off into a whisper. I counted through five minutes before looking up to gauge his expression. He was still looking at his sketchbook, but his previous upset expression was gone. Instead, he looked at the drawings with the same gentle fondness as usual, if not a bit more sad this time. I fought back a smile at how calm he looked now until he looked at me and gave me a small smile. I returned it and slowly rose from the floor to sit next to him.

 

In a rare moment of vulnerability, he leaned over and pressed against me, resting his head on my shoulder as he continued to look at the book. I lifted an arm to wrap around his shoulders and hummed softly as I did when he had a nightmare, slowly rubbing his arm.

 

“I miss them,” he said after a few moments.

 

“I know you do, Gabi. I’m sorry.”

 

I pressed my lips to his head in some semblance of a kiss. It wasn’t something I had done before but he didn’t seem to mind. He sighed softly and leaned further into me until we slowly sunk back into his bed and I awkwardly tugged his blanket over us. He kept his sketchbook held tightly to his chest as I held him close to mine and we finally drifted off into a sleep that allowed both of us to sleep through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said weekly updates, but the first chapter is actual shit and I'm too impatient. After this, I'm gonna stick to weekly updates, probably updating on Fridays.
> 
> I'm on tumblr @malika-sauce but that blog is an absolute mess tbh. Really just a platform to contact me on I suppose.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Gabe's pov

**Gabe**

 

The train rocked gently as it rumbled along the tracks, going too fast to take in much of the scenery yet somehow not feeling fast enough. If I focused on a certain spot, I could make out a few details of tall grass and the occasional spattering of wildflowers before it flew past and disappeared behind us. The cityscape slowly turned to suburbia which slowly turned to countryside, and that's how it had been for the past five hours. Jack was asleep across from me, bored instantly by the open fields he grew up surrounded by and lulled to sleep by the train’s gentle movements.

 

I was tense in my seat despite the cushions being relatively comfortable. I hadn't been around family for over a year and could hardly think about the concept without feeling a hollow pang in my chest. Jack had reassured me countless times that his family was kind and welcoming and wouldn't push me to talk about anything I didn't want to. I trusted him but people made mistakes and while I wouldn't hold it against them, too much probing could put me in a bad mood for days.

 

Jack shifted across from me and I schooled my expression from vague sadness into disinterested boredom, eyes flicking over to his face to see if he woke up. But he didn't. He shifted position with his eyes still closed and settled down again, breathing slow and heavy. I breathed out a soft sigh and let my expression fall again. He worried too much when he saw me looking sad, so I had taken to covering up my negative emotions with a detached air of disinterest. It had worked so far but I knew it wouldn't hold for long, and especially not once we got to his farm. From what he had told me about his family, they were very perceptive people. Surprising, given how oblivious Jack seemed to be sometimes.

 

I wiled away the silent hours by staring out the window. I had never seen open fields before, growing up in Los Angeles and never leaving until I went to training. Even then, I couldn't see much due to the tall fences and walls around the entire base and lack of windows in all of the buildings. Blue sky was nothing new but the blue out here seemed more vibrant away from city lights and smog, even softer than the sky out across the ocean. If I didn't keep getting trapped in my head, it would've been a very relaxing trip. But I couldn't stop thinking about the family I didn't have anymore, and how painful it would be to be surrounded by someone else’s family for three months.

 

I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against the window, letting the train rattle my head in attempt to shake out all the bad memories and sinking feelings I get every time I think about what's waiting for me at the end of this ride. My immediate family was dead and my extended family didn’t seem to care very much, hardly offering me any solace during my two-week leave for the funeral. They attended because it was expected of them, but nobody stayed long after the service was over, leaving me alone in the oppressive California sun as I stared at the four graves laid out in front of me. I felt numb more than anything, still not really believing what had happened. But during the train ride back to base, an experience very similar to this one with the escorting soldier asleep across from me, the reality of it all settled in. I couldn’t bring myself to interact with anyone for weeks, much to Jack’s discomfort. I could tell he always felt awkward being in the dorm with me. I knew he had made friends easily and could’ve been elsewhere, but he stayed with me most of the time and I appreciated it, even if it didn’t show.

 

His constant presence didn’t change when I started coming out of my shell; I figured that feeling sad all the time wouldn’t bring my family back from the dead. And while I certainly wasn’t over their deaths, not by a long shot, I knew I had to integrate myself into the group to make it through training. So I tagged along with Jack when he went to eat or when he went to the game room to socialize with the other soldiers. I made small talk when we were in our dorm and eventually I realized we were friends. As I paid more attention to Jack, I also realized how happy he was about it. His reaction to becoming my friend was a bit surprising, since I had always struggled to make friends even back home when my family was still alive and readily supportive, but I loved it. It didn’t take long after my revelation for us to become best friends, always going everywhere together and telling each other tidbits about ourselves that we didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone else. I even started drawing around him.

 

When I had my moment of crazed drawing a few weeks back, I wasn’t entirely aware of Jack entering the room and getting dressed. I was so hyperfocused on drawing their faces as well as I could remember before they were gone completely. The family I had left, family only by blood at this point, had thrown out most of their pictures before I got back home for the funeral, leaving me with only the few small pictures I had brought with me to training. I wanted a whole album of their smiling faces, of us as a family, happy and together and  _ alive _ . It was too late for that now, so I had to draw them. I was so angry at my extended family for getting rid of their pictures, I’m sure it showed on my face as I drew. Jack must’ve felt very confused. He must’ve felt confused about the whole thing, from the day we met. I didn’t tell him much beyond the fact that I didn’t have any family to go back to Los Angeles for, and only when both of us received the packets for summer relocation a couple months ago. The base needed work done on it to accommodate the new program they had us going through, apparently not enough foresight went into the planning, so the trainees all had to go back home for a few months. Jack, being the gracious friend he is, offered for me to go back home with him. I had nowhere else to go.

 

I don’t regret agreeing to come with him, but I was still incredibly anxious about it. My hands shook in my lap as I opened my eyes again, looking out over the endless cornfields before turning my head slightly to look at Jack. He was still sound asleep, a peaceful expression across his slack face that made him look even younger. I watched him sleep for a while before reaching into my backpack next to me and pulling out my sketchbook. I hadn’t drawn since that night, but Jack would be the perfect drawing to follow my family members since he was the closest thing I had to family now. While flipping to the next available page in my sketchbook, I lingered over the drawings of my family- my little sister, my mother, my father, and my older sister. They were all amazing people, could never be replaced, but I had started to feel like Jack could take a place among them. I had a desperate hope that his family could find a place too, but I pushed it away. I didn’t want to end up disappointed.

 

After watching Jack for a couple more minutes and lightly chewing on the end of my pen, I finally looked down and began drawing. Every few seconds I glanced back up to make sure I was capturing a certain detail correctly, but I didn’t notice he was awake until I started working on his eyes. I paused, feeling a rare blush slowly spread across my cheeks, and flashed him an awkward smile.

 

“ _ Buenos días _ , sleepy head.”

 

Jack laughed softly as he stretched, yawning loudly before slumping into his seat again.

 

“Mornin’. Surprised we aren’t there yet, I thought I’d sleep longer.”

 

I shrugged and closed my sketchbook, tucking it back into my backpack before I could risk accidentally letting him see the drawing. When I looked back up at him, he had a slight smile and light blush on his face, leading me to believe he knew exactly what I was drawing. I cleared my throat in an attempt to seem casual, but even I saw right through it.

 

“Hard to tell where we are. It’s been nothing but open fields for hours now.” 

 

Jack laughed again and I tugged my knit hat down over my burning ears to hide my slowly growing blush. Why did I feel so flustered right now? I’ve practically seen him naked in the showers, we’ve held each other up over a toilet during nights after injections that didn’t go so well, he’s rocked me back to sleep after nightmares countless times. How is sharing a train car with him suddenly awkward?

 

“Yeah. Indiana is like that. Welcome to the Midwest.”

 

We both went silent for a while again, staring out the window and watching the world fly by. Finally the occasional building started to pop up until they clustered together into what could almost be considered a small town. Jack perked up at the sight of a vibrant red water tower.

 

“Look!” He pointed at it, tapping his finger quickly against the window. “We’re here!”

 

Ten minutes later, the train rolled to a stop in front of the smallest station I had ever seen, barely consisting of more than a ticket booth and a few benches. Jack’s smile grew into a grin as he hopped up and started tugging our bags down from the overhead rack. I took mine with a half smile and shrugged my backpack over my shoulder before following him off the train.

 

“Hey, don’t worry about them being overbearing, really. I already told them you don’t like having to answer too many questions or being smothered. I promise they’re really nice people.”

 

He tried to give me a reassuring look, but it melted when he looked over at me. I could feel my tense frown, I knew my steps were slow and hesitant now that we were on the platform. His family could be any of these little groups, ready to barrel forward and drown us in questions about our training and my life. I winced when I heard one of the groups call his name, their eager tones already making me even more anxious. He flashed me an apologetic smile before wrapping an arm around my shoulders and slowly leading me towards them. 

 

It seemed to be something he did a lot, holding me close with an arm on my shoulders. It was a little awkward to walk like that with the bags on our backs, but I was silently thankful for it. Whether he knew it or not, he was my anchor right now, something I desperately needed if I was going to get through this initial introduction without completely shutting down.

 

“Jackie! Hi! We’ve missed you so much!”

 

As soon as we were within arm’s reach, Jack was pulled into a hug by the woman I assumed to be his mother, and it quickly became a group hug. I hung back a few feet, keeping my head down as the family reunited. This felt like a moment I shouldn't be a part of.

 

“And Gabe! We’ve heard so much about you!”

 

I quickly looked up and plastered on what I hoped was a convincing smile as a mountain of a man extended his hand to me. I shook it and nodded.

 

“It’s nice to finally meet you, sir.”

 

He grinned at me and tilted his head towards the parking lot before addressing the rest of the group, which also consisted of Jack’s two younger siblings.

 

“Let’s go! I wanna start dinner soon so we aren’t eating too late. I’m sure the boys are ready for some good homecooked food.”

 

Jack cheered and stepped over to my side again as we all followed his father to their car. I wasn’t sure how all six of us were going to fit into one car, but I didn’t feel too worried. The family seemed nice enough and I was sure Jack would end up sitting next to me.

 

“How are you holding up so far?”

 

I shrugged again and looked over at him, basking in his hopeful smile. He looked downright adorable.

 

“They seem alright.”

 

His smile grew into a grin again but this time it was focused on me, and I found myself leaning into him just as he lifted an arm to drape across my shoulders again.

 

“Good. I’m sure you’ll warm up to each other in no time. This is gonna be a great summer, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the one part of the summary that's actually true- this is going to focus on their time at Jack's family farm over summer. I actually already have the ending written, I'm just filling in the time between now and then, and it ends with them still at the farm. It's gonna be a wild few months.
> 
> Still on tumblr @malika-sauce and desperate for attention as always


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Jack's pov

**Jack**

 

The ride back home from the station was loud, between my little brother yelling about cannonball competitions in the lake behind our house, my little sister screaming her excitement that I was finally home, my ma already asking endless questions about my time at base, and my dad offering a few of his own. Gabe was tense beside me the entire time, shoulders hunched up and eyes cast down. I tried multiple times to get everyone to quiet down but even with the windows rolled down and radio off, there was no way to lessen the sound. About an hour into the ride, I saw him ball his hands into fists on his thighs, visibly straining to keep some semblance of calm. I leaned forward and tried to convey to my ma that she needed to quiet down my younger siblings, but we both knew that was an uphill battle. They had endless energy and no concept of how loud they could be.

 

I sighed and gently nudged Gabe with my shoulder, trying to give him a reassuring smile. But really, I was beginning to feel annoyed and overwhelmed as well.

 

“We’re almost there. We can hole up in my room for a while to relax while my parents make dinner and the kids burn off some of their energy outside.”

 

He nodded slightly but remained silent and didn’t relax at all. I couldn’t blame him. I knew he was apprehensive about my family before he even met them and being trapped in a small space with all of them for over an hour wasn’t the best introduction. I could only hold out hope that dinner would go much more smoothly.

 

He and I stayed relatively quiet for the rest of the ride, my parents finally reining in my siblings and keeping the conversation between the four of them. The energy in the car spiked again when our farm came into view but the kids must’ve caught on because they didn’t drown Gabe and I in questions about what his favorite summer activities were or if I wanted to go swimming before dinner. They ran out of the car as soon as it came to a stop in front of our house, headed for the tree with the tire swing around the back. My dad folded the middle seats down for us to awkwardly crawl out of the back of the car, stretching and taking in deep breaths of fresh summer air before grabbing our bags out as well.

 

“Welcome to the Morrison family farm! She's not much, but she's home.” 

 

My dad sounded proud as he looked over our house before glancing to Gabe. Gabe nodded but otherwise stayed his trademark silent as we all filed into the house. My dad shot me a sympathetic look, trying to silently apologize for my siblings, and I just shook my head. Him and my ma headed off to the kitchen while Gabe and I headed upstairs to my bedroom.

 

“There’s a guest bedroom right next to mine they made up for you, though Cassie might be a bit annoyed at you for a while. That’s usually her toy room.”

 

He looked down the hallway at the open door that led to his room, hesitating before taking a step towards it.

 

“I could just. . .sleep on a couch or something. I don’t want to impose.”

 

His attitude was much different here than it was on base. Back during training, he had started taking control in team exercises and leading us to victory against the opposing team most of the time. He was confident despite his rough patch at the beginning of training, smart and quick-thinking and incredibly observant. He seemed comfortable during those exercises, like he belonged in a commanding position. But here? He shrunk down and seemed almost timid now.

 

“I mean,” I hesitated and glanced around my room. “We could move the bed in here, probably. Just move some of my random crap into that room instead and you can sleep in here. Make it into a new dorm.”

 

I smiled at him, trying to assure him that I didn’t mind continuing to share a room with him. His nightmares might get worse being surrounded by someone else’s family, and I didn't want him to be too far away if he had trouble sleeping. But he still fidgeted with the straps of his backpack and hesitated before answering.

 

“If you’re sure you don’t mind.”

 

I nodded and dropped my bags onto my bed.

 

“Yeah, of course! Just drop your bags next to mine and we can start moving stuff around.”

 

He flashed me a thankful smile as he set his bags down and followed me into the next room to move the bed. Moving big furniture around was considerably easier now, due to the vigorous training and sketchy injections we’d been receiving for months now. I distantly wondered if there would be any reduction in our newly enhanced senses and strength since we were about to go three months without any new injections, but I quickly dismissed the thoughts as we situated my room to accommodate two beds. Thankfully they were both twin size, so they didn’t take up too much space.

 

Just as I finished unpacking and Gabe settled into his bed for a nap before dinner, there was a knock on my door. He tensed up again but I shook my head. Nobody had anything important enough going on for me to want to leave my room right now.

 

“Jack!” The muffled voice behind the door dragged my name out for almost five seconds before knocking again. “Ma wants to know if your friend is allergic to anything. She’s nervous about making dinner.”

 

Gabe snickered and relaxed against the bed again, looking almost peaceful for the first time in days.

 

“No, Cassie. Anything is fine.”

 

Light footsteps quickly disappeared down the hallway as I dropped onto my bed with a loud sigh. It was good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is shorter than I thought but the next one is super cute so!!! Just you wait.
> 
> I'm sure Gabe being this timid, nervous boy is pretty ooc but so is his entire background probably. I don't know where I was trying to go but I'm not leading the way anymore, words just appear and I run with it.
> 
> Catch me @malika-sauce if you got anything to say :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabe's pov

**Gabe**

 

Jack’s room looked almost exactly as I had expected it to- dark wood floors with a light blue rug near his bed, the walls almost the exact same shade of blue as the rug, wooden furniture that looked handmade, a full but neat bookshelf, random shelves full of trophies for sports and a few for academic organizations, and a couple posters for movies and bands I had never heard of. It was unmistakably  _ Jack _ and I loved it immediately. It was clean but cozy and the big windows let in enough evening sunlight to bathe the room in a soft glow when the lights were off. I would have no problem sleeping here for the next few months.

 

The bed they had made up for me was far more comfortable than the beds we had at base despite being the same size. I had two pillows, a sheet, and a quilt that was probably also handmade, all of which was a big step up from the regulation bedding I had suffered through for over a year. I sunk into the bed as soon as I laid down, unable to help the smile that immediately spread across my face. This place was already starting to feel like home.

 

“Dinner is gonna take a little while to make according to Charlie. He won't tell me what it is but I'm sure we'll be able to smell it soon.”

 

I opened my eyes to look over at Jack as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. I had started to doze off as Jack went to talk to his siblings in the backyard, whom I had recently discovered were 10-year-old twins. Cassandra was five minutes older and mocked Charlie with that fact constantly. It was endearing.

 

“Your mother won't tell you either? You seem like such a mama’s boy.”

 

He snorted as he sat down on his bed again, leaning against the wall that bordered along the side of it, and looked over at me.

 

“Nah, I'm okay with it being a surprise.”

 

I shrugged and closed my eyes again though I could still feel him looking at me.

 

“You okay so far?”

 

I took a few slow breaths to think about my answer before speaking. Yes, I was fine currently. His room was like a safe space. But the looming anxiety about dinner and every interaction with his family afterwards was getting steadily closer and heavier.

 

“Yeah, fine. Your room already feels like the good old dorms back home.”

 

My comment about the base being home slipped out before I could stop it, but it felt fitting to me. It essentially was my home now. My home back in LA was sold months ago and none of my extended family was particularly eager to take me in.

 

“Well, I guess that's good. Dinner will be better than the ride here, I promise. Cassie and Charlie will have burned off some energy by then and we won't all be crammed together.”

 

I nodded in acknowledgment as well as I could with two pillows behind me, but didn't say anything in response. Openly speaking about whatever was causing me anxiety only increased the anxiety, and that wasn't something I needed right now with so many sources feeding it already.

 

Jack’s bed shifted and I assumed he was moving to lay down and nap before dinner like I was until I heard footsteps across the floor and felt my bed dip near the end. I opened one of my eyes and looked down at Jack sitting at the end, leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed.

 

“You need something?”

 

He peeked over at me and smiled then closed his eyes again. I watched him for a couple more seconds then closed my eyes again too. Sometimes Jack would get in a weird mood that led him to almost cuddle up to me on evenings when we could just relax in our dorms. I could never pinpoint what sparks these moods but honestly, I never minded them. It got a little awkward when I had to resist the urge to kiss his cheek or head, but overall it was lovely. Nights spent holding him without the instigation of a nightmare driving him into my bed were some of the best nights spent on base.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

His question brought me back to reality but I kept my eyes closed. I laughed softly, not wanting to be too loud in case I ruined whatever strange mood was building.

 

“Nothing and everything.”

 

I heard him scoff and I smirked in response.

 

“Cryptic as always, Reyes. Come on. Indulge me.”

 

I sighed and sat up, sitting in the middle of the bed now. Jack looked over at me with a curious yet amused expression.

 

“Would we have become friends if we weren't roommates?”

 

His expression fell slightly, making him look more concerned than curious. He shifted closer a bit, leaning towards me.

 

“I’d like to think so. I didn't feel forced to befriend you, if that's what you mean. Is something bothering you?”

 

I shook my head and looked down at the bed, absentmindedly picking at a loose thread in the quilt. I believed him, but my newfound fear of abandonment that I gained in the past year still kept me second-guessing.

 

“No. I was just wondering.”

 

He shifted closer again until he was sitting right in front of me before reaching out and resting his hands on my knees. I looked up at him without lifting my head, almost feeling shy; a ridiculous thing to feel considering all we've already been through.

 

“You're my best friend, you know that, right? I'm not just saying that because everyone I went to high school with is gone now and you're my only choice. I really mean it. I've been more open with you in the past year than I had ever been with any of them, and I knew most of them since kindergarten.”

 

Another rare blush, which apparently wasn't so rare anymore, creeped across my face at his sincere tone and words. I just bit my lip and nodded in response, unsure how to answer. What was happening to me? I had a decent amount of confidence during training, leading our assigned group to victory over opposing teams weekly. Our commanding officers praised my tactical insight, my skill with a wide array of weapons, my ability to think fast and appraise multiple outcomes before settling on a decision. What was it about farm boy Jack Morrison that made me lose my cool in two seconds flat?

 

“I know you aren't a fan of talking about your feelings, so you don't have to respond, but I really care about you. We really are friends and I really am glad that you get to spend the summer here.”

 

I finally lifted my head completely and looked at him with a shaky smile, feeling stupidly overcome with emotion.

 

“Thanks,” I croaked. My voice cracked embarrassingly and I looked down quickly. His little smile made me want to kiss him. I bit down on my lip again and called on all my willpower to not lean forward and give in to that urge.

 

He laughed quietly and my blush only grew, making me scoot back a little out of embarrassment. He laughed again, louder, and followed me before surging forward and shoving me back to lay down, sprawling out across me.

 

“ _ Dios mío _ , Jack,” I huffed as I fell back.

 

Jack stayed quiet and nuzzled his face into my neck, pressing close like I expected him to do. I sighed in resignation to my fate and wrapped an arm around him, slowly rubbing his back until his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

 

“ _ ¿Qué voy a hacer contigo? _ ” I mumbled to myself.

 

I tilted my head to the side to watch his face as he slept, amazed at how much he could sleep in one day. Would he even go to sleep tonight?

 

I just smiled and relaxed into the bed before closing my eyes again and drifting off to sleep holding my best friend close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, they're...cuddling. Honestly the next chapter or so is literally just them cuddling, it's lovely.
> 
> So I'm slowly writing more and I think I'm on the 10th chapter and they still haven't kissed yet. Sorry, I want them to kiss too. The timing just isn't right yet.
> 
> I'm still knocking around tumblr @malika-sauce hmu lads


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack's pov 
> 
> Sorry for posting late! I'm on vacation and everything is crazy.

**Jack**

 

I didn't actually fall asleep when I fell across Gabe’s chest, but I closed my eyes and evened out my breathing to seem like I did. When I heard him ask himself what he's gonna do with me, having picked up a decent amount of Spanish in the past year thanks to training, a bright red blush immediately bloomed across my entire face and up to the tips of my ears. I'm not sure how he didn't notice it, but I was grateful for it. I stayed still for a while after he fell asleep, content to simply cuddle up to him and rest. The weeks leading up to summer break had been more exhausting than usual with all the planning on where all the recruits would go while the renovations were done, the end-of-the-year tests, and staying up late more often to soothe Gabe through more frequent nightmares. I didn't mind the last part at all, but it did begin to weigh on me as his anxiety started to seep into me too. 

 

When I was sure he was asleep, I slowly tilted my head so I could look up at him. He looked peaceful for the first time in weeks, face relaxed and mouth slightly open as he breathed slowly. All of him felt relaxed except for the arm that was curled tightly around me, holding me close to his chest. I couldn't help my smile as I tucked my head against his shoulder again and nuzzled against his neck, feeling an incredibly strong urge to pepper little kisses across his skin.

 

Did I have a crush on my best friend?

 

I stiffened slightly as I considered the question, quickly realizing that. . .yes, I probably did. I had a crush on Gabriel Reyes. And the best part? He seemed to feel the same way. Or did he? I've never been one to second-guess people’s motives or be unsure of what emotion I was reading from them, but I was very unsure in this situation. Was I just a best friend to him? A rock in these unsure times that he clung to desperately until he found his own footing? Would he pull back if I pushed forward? Would he pull back once he regained his confidence? Would he pull back when we got back to base and made new friends?

 

I sucked in a sharp breath and grabbed a handful of his shirt, pressing myself closer to him. Those were ridiculous thoughts. I had no reason to think he wanted to be more than friends, but I had no reason to doubt it either. Maybe we just needed more time to figure it out. We had only known each other for a year, and we definitely hadn't been friends for that whole time. But I fell hard and fast. I would do anything for him, anything to make him happy and comfortable, so I didn't want to push the matter. I was more than happy to be in a friendship that resulted in often sleeping in the same bed, more than happy to give up the possibility of kissing him, of holding his hand, as long as he was happy too.

 

I wiggled in his hold a little, trying to find a more comfortable position as my right arm started to feel numb. I was lying on my right side with my back to the wall, tucked into his left side with my arm draped across his chest and my head on his shoulder. This usually was a comfortable position in the flat beds back at base, but the beds at home were softer and conformed to our position, making me sink lower than was comfortable. He shifted and took a deep breath, making me freeze in fear of waking him up. But he settled down again quickly, allowing me to resume my search for comfort. I ended up rolling onto my stomach and laying across him more completely, my torso and head resting on his chest, one leg draped over his. I wiggled a little more until my head was tucked under his chin and reached back to tug his arm back around me, grinning when I felt him tighten his hold.

 

My family knew by now that I had an equal interest in boys as I did in girls when it came to romance, so I wasn’t too worried about anyone walking in to see me cuddled up to Gabe as we napped, but I wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with that. I also didn’t want Cassie and Charlie teasing him about it, especially if he was really just interested in friendship. I huffed in annoyance at my anxiety-fueled overactive thoughts. So what if they saw us sleeping like this? It happened back at base and it was bound to continue here, they just had to get used to it.

 

“Jack?”

 

I smiled at Gabe’s sleepy voice, nuzzling his chin with the top of my head in greeting. I felt a little bad that I woke him up with my moving around, but we had all summer to sleep as much as we wanted.

 

“You comfortable?”

 

“Very. Are you? I can move if I’m too heavy.”

 

I started to sit up and lean away to give him space, worried I was too heavy or too warm. The windows were open and a breeze was drifting in, but my room still held onto the heat of the day. But before I got far, his arm tightened around me again and tugged me back down, his hand slowly rubbing along my back.

 

“You’re not going anywhere, Jackie.”

 

His voice was rough from sleep. His words and voice and action made me blush dark as I cuddled up to him again. Just as my eyes closed again, I felt a very gentle kiss against the top of my head. It was so soft that I could’ve imagined it. I grinned anyway and pressed as close as I comfortably could, hoping desperately that it was real.

  
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Gabi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for angsty fluff. They keep up this obliviousness for a long, long time. But hey, at least they can cuddle.
> 
> I'm still @malika-sauce if you have questions or comments!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS LATE
> 
> Gabe's pov

**Gabe**

 

It wasn’t so much Jack’s movement that woke me up as it was how loud he was thinking. When you’re close to someone emotionally, you can almost sense when they’re thinking deeply about something and getting upset because of it. I woke up slowly but didn’t make a sound, instead allowing Jack to keep thinking until he seemed to relax a little bit. I was a little surprised to see him draped across me like he was, but I liked it. I enjoyed holding him close and drifting somewhere between awake and asleep. It felt suspiciously domestic and. . .right. I could almost imagine spending the rest of my life like this- lazy weekends and late mornings when we could sleep as long as we wanted then wake up in each other's arms. It lulled me into a fuzzy sense of bliss and let me lower my guard enough to kiss his head. I might be mortified about that later, but right then, it just felt right. And when I felt him press closer, I knew I made the right decision.

 

I was already falling for Jack and it was only the first day of summer. I was surprised at myself that I felt so strongly for this boy that I had only known for a year, especially considering the events that happened soon after meeting him, but it was a good kind of surprised. I was glad I could feel powerful positive emotions, and very glad that they were felt towards him. He was everything I aspired to be- confident, outgoing, happy, a bright shining beacon of hope. I had struggled with depression for years now, and the death of my family made it feel exponentially more crushing. Jack wasn’t a cure-all, no one person can be, but he was a big help. I had mentioned once or twice my darker moments but never went into much detail. I didn’t want pity from him for moods that were out of my control. Now, though, I trusted him enough. I felt I could tell him more about it and get support in return instead of misunderstanding or pity.

 

I didn’t fall back to sleep after we rearranged ourselves, content to just hold Jack close and watch the shadows on the ceiling move as the sun continued to set. When the clock on his dresser showed it was just past 7pm, there was a gentle knock on the door before it opened a crack. Jack’s mother poked her head in and immediately smiled when she saw us. I smiled back awkwardly and waved with my free hand.

 

“I don’t mean to wake you, but dinner is ready. Take your time, we won’t start without you and the kids are still running around outside.”

  
  
“Thank you, ma’am.” She laughed quietly and shook her head.

 

“Oh, call me Sharon. No need for formalities here.”

 

I nodded and she closed the door with a final wave.  I nudged Jack as I stretched below him, trying to wake myself up more fully before getting up.

 

“ _ Vámanos _ . Dinner’s ready.”

 

Jack just mumbled and clung to me more tightly, almost curling up on top of me. I laughed and began to slowly sit up, thankful for those hellish days of core-only workouts as sitting up with another person laying on me was a bit of an effort. I ended up sitting up with Jack on my lap, still curled up as well as he could manage. It was almost comical to see such a large person trying to seem small, endearing in a way that made me nuzzle my face into his soft hair.

 

“Wake up, Jackie. I’m hungry and I’m not about to carry you downstairs.”

 

“Why not?”

 

He finally looked up and wrapped his arms around my neck, almost straddling my lap. I don’t think he initially noticed his position until I raised an eyebrow at him. He just smirked.

 

“Carry me like a princess.”

 

I snorted and pushed him off my lap, hopping up before he could try to pin me down again.

 

“In your dreams. Let’s go.”

 

He scowled but slid out of bed too, following behind me as I headed downstairs.

 

“Who woke you up?”

 

He hung back by the stairs, apparently not wanting to have this conversation around his family.

 

“I was already awake, but your mother peeked in. She seemed very happy with our sleeping arrangement.”

 

Jack smiled sheepishly and I looked at him curiously. What had he told his parents about me, about us? Was there an “us” and I just wasn’t aware of it? I felt embarrassed at how my heartbeat picked up at that thought.

 

“Yeah, she’s like that. I’m not exactly known for my high number of romantic partners, so she’s always excited when something seems to be happening, or whatever…”

 

He trailed off awkwardly and I took a moment to absorb what he said before I burst out laughing.

 

“Oh, Jackie, she’s a wonderful person.”

  
  
I kept the conversation on his mother and her motives more than the last part of his explanation, not wanting to push him to talk about what may or may not be happening between us. This summer was all about relaxing and spending time with my best friend. He had the kind charisma that made everyone think he was flirting with them, so I could hardly see how he didn’t have a long list of partners. But I also didn’t see how his casual flirting and cuddling could really mean anything, no matter how much I wanted it to. I was content to take everything at face value as long as it kept happening.

 

When we got to the dining room, Jack’s mother was setting the table and his father was trying to get his siblings settled in their seats. It was heart-wrenchingly  _ familial _ , something I desperately missed, and I had to quickly look away before I was blinded by tears. Instead, I offered to help Sharon finish setting the table, grabbing glasses of water for everyone to get away from the dining room. I stood at the sink, my hands braced on either side and leaning over it slightly as I struggled to even out my breathing. I did not need to have a breakdown in front of these people the first night they invite me to live with them.

 

Slow footsteps behind me forced me to shake myself out of my weird headspace, quickly wiping my face with the back of my hands and reaching up to grab some glasses from the cabinet above the sink. A hand on my shoulder made me slow as I set them down, looking back to see Jack’s mother standing there with a concerned look.

 

“Are you okay, Gabriel?”

 

I shrugged and turned back to the sink to start filling up the glasses. I wanted to respond, not wanting to seem rude, but I didn’t trust my voice right now.

 

“If you don’t think you can handle dinner, I won’t be upset. I want you to feel comfortable here. You and Jack can eat on the back porch if you’d prefer that.”   


 

I took a deep breath and turned to face her again, this time forcing a shaky smile.

 

“I’m alright, ma’am. Thank you.”

 

She looked at me for a couple seconds longer before nodding and grabbing the remaining glasses that I couldn’t balance.

 

“Don’t feel obligated to stay, okay? You can duck out at any time.”

 

I thanked her again then headed back to the dining room, setting down the three glasses I had managed to carry in front of the kids and Jack’s father before sitting down next to Jack. He gave me a reassuring smile and patted my knee before reaching for whatever bowl of food as in front of him. I stayed mentally present long enough to get food and pass the bowls around the table, but quickly zoned out when everyone started eating. I didn’t want to seem rude by leaving, I felt rude for not talking, but I’d feel even worse if I tried to participate in the friendly family banter and accidentally said something wrong or was ignored.

 

Somehow, I managed to eat everything on my plate. I didn’t remember much about the meal afterwards, but I managed to recall enough consciousness to help clear the table and wash the dishes. When everything was put away, Jack led me to the back porch. He carried two glasses of lemonade his mother made earlier, staying silent as we sat in the wicker chairs with a small table holding the glasses between us. I stared out across the fields that surrounded their house and the slowly darkening sky, basking in the peace and quiet. The temperature had dropped from the heat of midday and the breeze was still blowing, making the screened-in porch a very comfortable place to relax.

 

The chairs had thick cushions on them that I sunk into immediately, slouching in the chair as I stared vacantly at where the dark red sky met the golden green grass. I wanted to feel bad about practically shutting down at dinner, but all I really felt was numb. I was surrounded by beautiful nature, kind people, but all I wanted to do was disappear. Maybe I would’ve been better off on my own in Los Angeles. The Army would’ve paid for housing for me, I could’ve spent my summer on the coast, watching the ocean and trying very very hard to ignore all the old memories. At least I would be alone, not surrounded by someone else’s family. I wasn’t mad at Jack or his family, I was grateful for them taking me in. But I couldn’t help but think it was a bad idea.

 

I could feel Jack looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I didn’t know what to say. I had no words that wouldn’t make either or both of us feel guilty about this set-up. The gentle clinking of ice cubes against glass kept me from zoning out too completely, keeping my mental attention as I kept staring out at the fields. I listened to them for a few minutes before finally looking over at Jack to see him slowly stirring his lemonade with his straw. It didn’t look like he drank any yet.

 

“Hi,” I said, unsure of what else to say.

 

Jack looked up and gave me a small smile as he set his glass down on the table.

 

“Hey. You back?”

 

“Mostly.” I hesitated before saying more. “Sorry about dinner.”

 

He scooted his chair closer and shrugged, never dropping his smile.

 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry to throw you back into that mess. Cassie and Charlie have a summer daycare they go to, sort of like a summer school under the guise of playing with other kids all day, so the house should be quiet tomorrow. Though my dad may start asking for help around the farm soon, especially in the barn with the animals.”

 

I nodded slowly as he talked, reaching for my glass to have something to focus on so I didn’t zone out again. I slowly stirred my drink, making the same clinking ice cube sound as Jack did before, watching the liquid swirl around for a minute before looking back up at Jack.

 

“Okay. Sounds good. Keep us in shape, keep me focused on something.”

 

My voice sounded flat and I winced at it. Jack’s smile shrunk as he stood from his chair and dragged it over until it was right next to mine, the table with his drink still sitting to my left. He leaned over the side of his chair until his head was on my shoulder.

 

“I told you it was gonna be a good summer. I hope I didn’t lie to you.”

 

I frowned and leaned over too, resting my head on his.

 

“It’s better than spending the summer alone,” I lied. Maybe that’ll be true soon, but it wasn’t true now. “Any time with you is time well spent.”

 

I sounded appallingly mushy, but the last part was true. He huffed out a soft laugh and reached into my chair to wrap a hand around my forearm, slowly rubbing his thumb along it. Something had changed drastically in the past week or so. I wasn’t usually big on physical contact but I had begun craving tactile interaction. I’d sit close to Jack in the mess hall, lay in bed with him in the evenings, and now here we are leaning awkwardly over the sides of our chairs just to lay on each other.

 

“I’m glad you think so. I feel the same way.”

 

We sat in peaceful silence for a while after that, my mood slowly lifting even as the sun set. When it was dark and our lemonades were gone, Jack slowly stood, untangling himself from our awkward embrace over the arms of the chairs, and grabbed a blanket from the chest in the corner of the porch. He waved at me to follow as he stepped off the porch and laid the blanket down, grabbing some small tin buckets and setting them on the corners of the blanket before lighting the off-white wax inside. They looked like the biggest candles i had ever seen.

 

“Come lay down. Maybe we can sleep out here. It isn’t supposed to rain, and these keep the bugs away,” he said as he gestured to the large candles.

 

I hopped down off the porch and immediately sprawled out across the middle of the blanket with my arms out at my sides, inviting Jack to lay down with me like we had in his bed before dinner. He grinned and laid down next to me, resting his head on my chest as we looked up at the sky. I started counting the stars as his familiar weight grounded me in the present time. Eventually, I felt his fingers lightly brushing along my arm, and I realized I had been absentmindedly running my fingers through his hair. I closed my eyes after reaching 500 stars, reveling in the gentle breeze rustling the tall grass behind us and Jack’s comforting warmth as they lulled me to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've really hit a dead spot with this and haven't written any more for a while so updates may start taking longer than a week.
> 
> Still on tumblr @malika-sauce!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack's pov

**Jack**

 

I was awake before the sun had begun to rise, almost panicking when I felt the cool outside air blowing past me, having forgotten that I fell asleep outside. I jolted into firm consciousness quickly and sat up, looking around with wide eyes before realizing where I was. With a heavy sigh, I laid back down and looked over at Gabe, still sound asleep. He shifted in his sleep, rolling to face me as if subconsciously searching for me, and I scooted closer with a small smile. He looked so vulnerable and open when he slept, free of all the anxiety and fears that plagued his waking hours. His arm fell across my stomach and held me close, like I was a teddy bear little kids look for in their sleep. I just closed my eyes again and tucked my head against his shoulder, settling back into a similar position to the one I had before waking up.

 

I didn’t fall back asleep, instead just silently watching the sun rise and basking in the warm sense of peace in my chest. I could too easily get used to mornings like this, even if we had fallen asleep inside, quiet mornings spent laying on my best friend and watching the sun rise. Already, I couldn’t imagine life without Gabe by my side, even just as a friend. He had gone from a complete stranger to the best constant in my life in a single year. If we stuck together, we could accomplish anything. My peaceful smile grew into a grin as I thought about our dynamic and slowly traced invisible doodles across his chest with light fingers. I paused when his chest rose sharply with a quick intake of breath, lifting my head to look down at him, ready to console him if a nightmare had suddenly crept up on him.

 

Instead, I saw him slowly open his eyes but quickly close them against the rising sun, rubbing at his face before stretching with a yawn. I laughed and sat up completely, giving him space to wake up at his own pace. He looked half-asleep still when he opened his eyes again and slowly looked around, seeming almost as confused as I was when I woke up, before nodding to himself and relaxing against the blanket again.

 

“Morning,” I said to him, my smile evident in my voice.

 

He just grunted in response, apparently not awake enough yet to talk. In fact, he almost seemed like he was falling back asleep, his eyes closed again and whole body relaxed. I took the opportunity and laid down next to him, reclaiming him as my pillow. His chest rumbled with a low laugh and I felt his arm wrap around me again.

 

“Mornin’,” he finally mumbled, voice rough with sleep. “How long have you been awake?”

 

“Since before sunrise,” I said as I stifled a yawn. I wasn’t tired enough to go back to sleep, but I wished I could’ve slept a little longer.

 

“Why so early?” His hand slowly, lightly ran up and down my back, his fingertips just barely grazing my shirt with enough pressure for me to feel it. The small action made me blush ridiculously dark, so I tucked my head under his chin so he couldn’t look down to see.

 

“I dunno. I did sleep a lot yesterday.”

 

He laughed again but didn’t say anything in response, just continuing to slowly rub my back. We laid like that for a while, watching the sun slowly rise until it was almost completely over the tops of the tall grass and distant fields of corn. Just as I was dozing off again, I heard footsteps on the porch and the screen squeaking open.

 

“Good morning, boys! Breakfast is almost ready, if you want to roll up the blanket and come in,” my ma called from the steps.

 

“We’ll be there in a minute, ma!”

 

I sat up with a huff and yawned again before standing and extending a hand to Gabe to help him up. He grabbed my hand tightly but didn’t tug at all as he hopped up with a surprising amount of energy. I squinted at him suspiciously as I folded up the blanket and he carried the candles back to their spot next to the porch.

 

“What’s got you in such a chipper mood? You were never a morning person.”

He turned to face me with a smile, walking backwards up the steps and across the porch to the back door as I followed.

 

“Today just feels like a good day.”

 

He spun around and held the door open for me, leaning forward slightly and waving his hand dramatically towards the open door.

 

“After you.”

 

I huffed out a short laugh and stepped inside before turning around to face him, a reversal of how we walked up to the door. I walked slowly backwards towards the kitchen, not worried about bumping into anything, and he followed with an amused expression.

 

“Boys, what are you doing?”

 

We both laughed at my dad’s question as we sat down in the same seats as during dinner last night. The table was set and the food was laid out, so we both dove in. Despite not going on a morning run like we would’ve back at base, I was still very hungry.

 

“Just havin’ fun,” I said around a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

 

“Ew, Jack,” Cassie complained. “Don’t talk with food in your mouth.”

 

I shoved another forkful of eggs in my mouth before looking at her.

 

“I would never.”

 

She let out a whining complaint, prompting me to stick my tongue out at her still covered in partially-chewed eggs.

 

“Jack Morrison! Where are your manners?”

 

My ma scolded me from across the table and I snickered, my mouth completely closed now. I made a point of swallowing before talking again.

 

“My apologies, mother,” I said with a terrible British accent. “I do promise to be on my best behavior from now on.”

 

Gabe, my father, and Charlie all laughed. Cassie giggled but tried to hide it behind another bite of food. My ma rolled her eyes but smiled. I loved my family, and I already felt that Gabe could fit in with them just fine. His upbeat energy this morning was a pleasant surprise, and I hoped it would last for a while.

 

“So, how was sleeping outside last night? You aren’t covered in bug bites, are you?” My dad sounded more interested in if the citronella worked than how well we slept.

 

“No, sir. Those candles Jack lit worked wonders, I was really surprised.”

 

I grinned at Gabe actively taking part in the conversation, glad nobody acted surprised that he finally spoke up. He sounded happy and almost confident. I wonder what happened since last night to turn his mood around.

 

“Ah, the citronella tins? Good, we haven’t gotten much use out of them yet, glad to know they work well.”

 

“Really,” I asked, surprised. “Has the weather been bad lately?”

 

My dad shrugged and looked over at my ma. I switched my attention to her, waiting for an answer.

 

“Well, the kids have been busy with school and their new friends, your father has been working in the barn more now that the fields are planted, and I have a new job.”

 

“Oh, ma, cool! What do you do?”

 

I was surprised again that she got a job. Usually the farm does well enough on its own to cover our yearly expenses plus a little more to tuck away into savings, especially since we almost never needed to buy groceries besides the occasional package of meat.

 

“Well, I converted the guest room down here into a craft room, and I run a website to sell trinkets or customized things like picture frames or mobiles, just little home decorations. I started it not long after you left since I needed something else to fill my time, and it took off! Apparently city people love my ‘country charm’,” she said, putting air quotes around “country charm”.

 

I snickered and looked over at Gabe to gauge his reaction. He’s a city person, and I had noticed him looking closely at some of the decorations we had around our house. He looked a little embarrassed but his smile remained.

 

“You should ask Gabe here for his opinion on some of your pieces. He’s a regular city slicker.”

 

I said the last part in a heavy stereotypical country accent and laughed again. He narrowed his eyes and elbowed my side but laughed anyway.

 

“Oh, that’s right! Los Angeles always looks so lovely on tv. What’s it like?”

 

My ma grinned at him, her eyes wide as she awaited stories of glory about the city. I felt Gabe’s mood lower slightly as he recalled his home city. His smile remained still, but I noticed it became more tense.

 

“It’s pretty nice. Has its ups and downs as any big city does. I didn’t live in the nicest of neighborhoods, but it was alright. Weekend trips to the beach were always fun, the sand was soft and the water was a great way to cool off in the summer. There was a lot of culture, a lot of cultural innovations too from how they all mixed together. It’s a really fun city.”

 

My ma nodded along and Cassie and Charlie both shot their right hands up quickly like they had an urgent question.

 

“What was the ocean like,” they both asked in unison.

 

Gabe’s smile relaxed into a soft wistful expression. He leaned back, setting his fork next to his mostly-empty plate, and thought for a minute before answering.

 

“The ocean is dependent on the day. Sunny, cloudless, warm days lead to calm water, warm in the shallows and slowly getting cooler as you swim out. It’s refreshing, freeing almost. When you’re out far enough that you can’t reach the bottom and keep your head above the surface, or you’re floating away from other people, it’s like the whole world is endless water. I know that may sound scary to you, but I thought it was the best feeling. I would swim out as far as the lifeguards would allow and just float, away from other people and the commotion of the beach. It was so peaceful.”

 

He trailed off, looking distant like he was mentally somewhere else. Cassie and Charlie were wide-eyed and slack-jawed, looking awed at his description. My parents had small smiles as they silently ate their breakfasts.

 

“Ma, I wanna see the ocean,” Cassie piped up. Ma looked over at her, smile now almost divulgent.

 

“Well…” Her voice had a sing-song tone to it. “Dad and I were already considering taking a trip to one of the coasts once you two are done with class in a few weeks. You all get to decide. East, south, or west coast? We can take a trip along the entire coast, whichever you pick.”   
  
I winced as the twins screamed in excitement, immediately hopping out of their seats to run around the table. My parents laughed as they watched the kids. I turned to Gabe, their excitement reflected in my grin, and gently nudged him.

 

“Do you have a preference?”

 

“Ah, nah, don’t ask me. This is your vacation.” I tisked and nudged him again.

 

“Come on, you’re part of the family too now.”

 

He smiled shyly as the twins ooh’ed from their side of the table. It took me a moment to realize why they reacted like that, but I blushed as soon as it clicked.

 

“Hey!” I threw my balled-up napkin at them with a glare. Gabe laughed beside me and threw his napkin too. Yesterday was a rough day, but he seemed to be acclimating much better today.

 

Ma gently scolded the twins for their teasing, but I noticed the quick look she exchanged with my dad, probably telling him she felt the same way. Apparently everyone in the house assumed Gabe and I were more than friends despite this only being the second day we were here.

 

“Okay, kids. Go get your backpacks ready, grab your lunches out of the fridge. I’m driving you to school but I won’t have time to bring anything that you forget later today, I am swamped with shop orders.”

 

“And I have some cleaning and repairs left to do in the barn. That storm last week really shook the place up.”

 

My parents and siblings all stood up together to clean the table. I was about to stand too, but my ma’s hand on my shoulder pushed me back down as she leaned over to grab my plate. She gave me a knowing smile before grabbing Gabe’s plate too and everyone disappeared into the kitchen. I shifted in my seat, suddenly feeling awkward.

 

“Well, that was an interesting meal,” Gabe remarked.

 

I let out a short laugh and leaned back in my seat, trying to seem relaxed. I don’t think it was working very well. I felt hyper-aware about my closeness to Gabe, wondering if it was too close. I was never self-conscious about being tactile with others, especially not my best friend, but sometimes I felt like I was being too forward or clingy, acting less like a best friend and more like a … boyfriend.

 

“Yeah, sure was. I’m excited about that vacation though. Wonder if dad will come with and hire someone to take care of the animals while we’re away.” I worked hard to keep my tone excited about the trip, ready to blame any wavering on the fun news rather than my awkward thoughts.

 

“I hope so. I want to spend time with everyone.”

 

His tone was so hopeful, almost like he took my earlier comment about him being part of the family to heart. I wanted him to, I knew my family liked him before they even met him with how often I talked about him during our video calls.

 

“Hey, what I said about you being part of the family…” I trailed off as another wave of awkward nerves washed over me when he looked at me, expression reflecting his tone. Maybe he didn’t take it the way everyone else seemed to. I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved or disappointed. “I meant it. I really do want you to feel like you belong. You do belong already. I just want you to really feel like it.”

 

A grin bloomed across his face as a blush bloomed across mine, along with a smile of my own. He leaned over to hug me tightly, a little awkward since we were both still in our chairs, but I hugged him back. We held onto each other even as I heard my ma and siblings go out the front door and my dad step out onto the back porch for his boots, my chin resting on his shoulder and his resting on mine.

 

“Thank you, Jackie.”

 

His voice was barely a whisper and sounded tight with emotion, like he was holding back tears.

 

“Of course, Gabi. Anything for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there might be some traveling in the future! How exciting! And good for Gabe for fitting into the family now.
> 
> It'll take a couple more chapters to get to the kiss, but I'm working on it now! Woo!
> 
> As always, I'm on tumblr @malika-sauce :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is in Gabe's pov

I had woken up in the best mood I had felt in months and immediately attributed it to being with Jack at his home. What else could it be, really? The slow dozing on the grass as the sun rose, the energetic breakfast, the offer to be a part of his family, all wonderful things that made me feel even better. By the end of breakfast, I felt light enough to float away. But instead, I showered and dug out my most-worn pair of jeans to wear while Jack and his father showed me around the farm. Most of my clothing, while not fancy by any means, was pretty nice in my opinion, and I didn’t  want to risk any of it getting too dirty as we walked around, though I’m sure that plan would fall apart as soon as I was called on to start helping out.

 

I followed Jack’s suggestion to wear pants, but quickly regretted it as we stepped outside and headed to the barn. California was infamous for its oppressive heat, made even worse by living in a dense city, but I wore shorts all the time and never stayed outside for long. Trekking along a sunny dirt path in southern Indiana in the throes of summer with black jeans on was worse than any LA summer. I was almost unbearably hot by the time we got to the barn, my hair either flattened to my head with sweat or curling up randomly due to the humidity. Jack laughed at my unfortunate situation and ruffled my hair, making it even worse. 

 

I glared at him as we approached the barn, but relaxed when we finally stepped inside. The shade was a blessing, and the large doors open on both ends allowed for decent air flow so the inside wasn’t too stuffy. I didn’t know the first thing about farms or barns, but this one looked really nice- the typical red and white outside, high open ceilings, a loft around all four sides with a ladder up by each door, tools and the odd wagon wheel hung on the walls, hay was stacked in one corner, and animal pens filled most of the remaining space. The interior was mostly unfinished wood, but it was smoothed down over years of use and upkeep. It looked well-loved.

 

Jack’s father was standing near one of the larger pens, reaching in and murmuring softly to whatever animal laid inside. We walked over to him and I paused a few feet away when I saw a horse lying in the middle of a pile of hay. It was a beautiful deep brown with a white stripe along its nose and some white spots spattered around its tail. Jack beckoned me over when he saw I still stood a few steps away so I walked forward cautiously. I wasn’t sure how quiet and gentle I had to be around these animals yet.

 

“This is Rosie. She’s one of our best field workers,” Jack sounded proud as he introduced her to me. I could see the obvious muscle over all of her body upon closer inspection, hidden gracefully under the beautiful hair. She snorted at the mention of her name and shook her head, making her mane wave.

 

“Wow. Hi, Rosie. You’re beautiful,” I said as I leaned against the stall railing. I wanted to reach out to pet her, but I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to, by her or Jack and his father. I just gripped the railing and stared at her in wonder.

 

“Never seen a horse before?” Jack’s father sounded surprised.

 

“I have. At circuses or in parades. But none this big or this close.” I couldn’t keep the awe out of my voice. Rosie was a stunning animal.

 

Both Jack and his father laughed beside me. I finally tore my gaze away to look at them, wondering if I said something wrong.

 

“Ah, son, you’ll fit right in here.” His father clapped a hand down on my shoulder and I gave him a lopsided grin, excitement running through me. So the family really did like me. It was reassuring to hear it straight from them instead of just through Jack. I still longed for my family of course, but this one didn't seem too bad. “Think you boys can handle cleaning her stall? I have to tinker with the lawnmower outside. Jack, I assume you remember where everything is?”

 

“Yes, sir. We got it covered.”

 

His father nodded before picking up the toolbox that sat next to him on the concrete floor and heading outside. When his footsteps receded out of audible range, I turned to Jack with a grin.

 

“He called me ‘son’. He really does like me.” My glee was evident in my expression and voice, and Jack laughed loudly, making Rosie winny. I wasn’t sure if it was out of annoyance or her attempt at laughter too.

 

“Ah, wouldn’t we be in an awkward situation if he really thought of you as his son?”

 

I raised an eyebrow at him curiously but responded to what seemed like his attempt at flirting with an attempt of my own.

 

“Well, when men are married into families, their significant other’s father refers to them as their son-in-law. So really, he’s just getting practice.”

 

Jack choked on a laugh and shook his head, looking at me with his own amused curiosity.

 

“Alright, you got me there. Real smooth, Reyes.”

 

I shrugged, hoping I still seemed casual, but I was internally screaming through the whole interaction.

 

“I mean, your family already loves me, obviously, You’re the only one I still have to charm.”

 

I tried to lower my voice at the end in a cheesy attempt at seduction, sliding closer to him with a wink. I wasn’t sure what I was trying to accomplish, but his reactions were endlessly amusing. He laughed again and shoved at me, but I noticed his blush before he turned away and headed to the wall of tools near the other entrance. I hoped it was a good blush.

 

“You are absolutely ridiculous.”

 

I snickered but tagged along behind him. I had a general idea on how to use some of the tools I saw on the wall, I had raked before, I had shoveled before. Hopefully cleaning the stall just consisted of raking and shoveling. We did a decent amount of manual labor during training to keep the base clean. I could clean any room in a building, clean the outside of the building with some help (power washers were beasts), and I had helped my mother with a few plants on our balcony back in LA, but I didn't know much about very old-looking farm tools. I hoped some of the rustier ones were just for decoration.

 

He hefted down a shovel and a rake as I had hoped, handing me the shovel. I tagged along behind him again as he grabbed a big black bucket from an empty storage stall and moved back to Rosie’s stall.

 

“We have to take her outside before we clean the stall so we don’t disrupt her. There’s a fenced-in space out the other door,” he pointed at the door at the other end of the barn from the door we came in through, “so she’ll be fine unattended out there for a while. Do you wanna lead her?”

 

I froze at the question and looked at Jack with wide eyes.

 

“Me? The biggest animal I’ve ever handled is a stray dog.”

 

Jack shrugged as he took some strappy leather thing off the wall and set to securing it around Rosie’s head.

 

“You’ll do fine. She knows to follow people when she’s wearing her lead.”

 

He handed me a long loop of leather that attached to something in her mouth. I kept it slack in front of me as I slowly walked backwards towards the door, not wanting to pull her. My little sister loved horse and dreamed of going to one of ranches a little ways out of the city to see some up close. Her reaction probably would’ve been similar to mine- awe and amazement. I felt a little sad thinking that she’d never get to fulfill her dream, but I was also glad that I could live it for her. I could tell her all about it when I visited her in the cemetery, bring her some sunflowers and a horse figurine. She had a little collection of them on her dresser.

 

As if sensing my mood shift, Rosie stepped closer and gently nudged my hands with her nose. She huffed and looked at me, her big brown eyes full of emotion, before heading towards the door without my prompting. I walked quickly until I caught up with her, then we both walked side-by-side slowly around the yard for a few minutes. The high sound of a rake scraping against concrete could be heard from the barn, and the faint clinking of metal striking metal from around the front of the barn. Otherwise, nature filled the rest of my senses. Birds chirped from their perches in the field of trees not too far away; grass and dirt and maybe water scented the air, I wondered if there was a pond or stream hidden in the trees; the only signs of civilization around were the house and barn, the dirt road connecting them and leading away to the main gravel road, and distant power lines that were almost invisible sometimes; the grass was sponge-y beneath my feet as I meandered around with Rosie. I felt almost as peaceful here as I did floating in the ocean.

 

After a short while, Rosie nudged me in the direction of the barn, as if trying to remind me of the job I had to help Jack with. I gave her a smile and slowly stroked down her nose as a goodbye then headed back to the barn. Jack smiled at me when he saw me approach but didn’t say anything as I picked up the shovel and started scooping the pile of dirty hay into the bucket. We worked silently for a while, him seeming just as lost in thought as I was, and my feeling of peace continued.

 

It was only my second day here, but I already felt comfortable. Yesterday was rough with the shock of seeing a new family in an unfamiliar environment, but I had noticed how hard they all tried to make me feel like part of the family, and it didn’t upset me like I had expected. It actually warmed my heart. I had really missed being part of a family, feeling sort of like an outsider at base. I wasn’t the most social person and had a hard time conveying my emotions or thoughts in a way people could understand, but as I started to stand out in the group exercises and spend more time with Jack and his friends, I slowly became accepted into their group.

 

I felt like I belonged with my family. Not so much with any group at school or any sport team I tried to join, but I always found comfort and solace at home. My limbo after their death when I floundered through training was chaos for me, despite my lack of external emotion. I was like a fish out of water, unsure of what to do now, unsure if I would ever have a home or a family again. Jack was my saving grace. I didn’t rely on him for anything, I didn’t expect him to come to my rescue every time I fell into a bad mood, but he tried anyway. He gave me something to look forward to every day, another reason to wake up and face the day’s exercises. When I started to regain my footing and stepped forward into a commanding position, I felt confident enough to give back to the slowly-strengthening friendship. I started drawing around him, divulging my own personal secrets when he told me his, asked for help with our assignments if I needed it instead of struggling through them on my own. He always seemed so happy to help.

 

When the summer relocation forms were handed out, I felt a sinking dismay at what the summer would hold for me. I would have to go back to Los Angeles alone for a whole three months, knocking around the city aimlessly with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. I knew immediately that I would spiral back into a bad headspace, possibly even worse than the one I was trapped in after my family died. Even now, surrounded by the comfort of Jack’s family, I shivered in discomfort. Just thinking about how different my summer could’ve been was extremely distressing. But I just shook myself out, rolled my shoulders under the guise of stretching after being bent over to scoop up the hay, and kept working. 

 

It was Jack’s idea for me to live with him during summer. I had told him a few weeks prior why I was gone for two weeks at the beginning of the new program so he knew I had nobody back home. He offered up his home without a second thought. I was hesitant to accept, thinking I would be an imposition, thinking it would be incredibly awkward to live with the best friend I was definitely slowly developing a crush on. I only had one boyfriend before, and he completely lead the relationship. I was fine with it, but I always felt a little unfulfilled, like there was something missing by me letting him control almost everything. He wasn’t abusive, but he was more dominating than I would’ve liked. With Jack, though, it was a whole different story. Our friendship was very balanced now, with an even give-and-take flowing between us. If we ever went beyond friendship, I’d assume the relationship would be the same way. I hoped it would be. I dreamed it would be.

 

My thoughts meandered along similar lines as we finished cleaning the stall. After all the hay was scooped out, we washed it down with a power washer and used a push broom to direct the extra water towards the drain just outside the stall. I had never considered the presence of a drain in a barn but it made sense somehow, for all my lack of farm knowledge. When the stall was mostly dry, we hauled a new bundle of hay to it and spread it all out so Rosie had a new thick bed to lay on. It wasn't too much work, but I learned a lot and felt like I had really accomplished something. I could easily see why farmers took such pride in their work.

 

“Wanna go feed Rosie now? We usually just give her a bucket to eat out of but there isn't too much to do today, so we have the time to hand-feed her.”

 

Jack spoke as he grabbed a bucket down from a hook in Rosie’s stall before heading to a large container in the corner with the hay. When he opened it to fill the bucket with the large scoop inside, I saw it was full of dried corn and other grains I couldn't identify.

 

“Horses eat grass and dried grain mixtures on our farm, and most others. They don't eat meals like us, usually grazing outside most of the day, but we have set times when we feed them the grains,” Jack explained as he filled the bucket. I nodded in understanding.

 

Farm life seemed very scheduled. They had to wake up at dawn, get certain things done immediately, feed the animals at certain times, plant and harvest at certain times. While other jobs are like that too, needing to get projects done and reports turned in by set deadlines, it had a different feeling on a farm. You could consider yourself your own boss, but mother nature was the one in charge in the long run. So if you didn't have time to clean that stall or you have to run into town for a lawnmower part tomorrow instead of getting it fixed today, whatever. Those can be pushed off another day. But you can't be late planting or harvesting, or the entire field goes to shit. It was a daunting amount of responsibility with the strangest twist of personal freedom. It was oddly alluring.

 

I could feel a dopey smile on my face as I thought about living here with Jack for the rest of my life. Forget the army, we could take over the farm after his parents and continue all the work. His siblings could stay here and help too if they wanted. We could adopt a few-

 

I immediately froze that train of thought. Oh no, I was  _ not  _ thinking about a domestic future with my best friend. It would inevitably lead to an awkward conversation and eventual heartbreak, and I couldn't handle more of that right now. I shook my head to dispel the thoughts, grateful that Jack was still filling the bucket and didn't see my stupid expression. He was still explaining the intricacies of horse diets when I tuned back in to reality, which made it very hard for me to get rid of my persistent grin. His extensive knowledge of all things horse first appeared at base, but I had no idea how deep the well of information went. I was alarmed at myself for thinking and feeling such things, but I couldn't deny the warmth it inspired in my chest or the way my heart beat faster as I imagined it. I was hopelessly lost for this kid.

 

I tagged along next to Jack as we headed out to the enclosed area just outside the barn where I left Rosie. She was peacefully pulling up some grass to eat as we approached, only acknowledging our presence with a flick of her ears.

 

“Hey, Rosie. Want something else to eat?”

 

Jack dug his hand into the bucket and held out a handful of the grain mix to her. She slowly lifted her head and appraised the handful of food for a moment before leaning forward and lapping the feed out of his hand. He set the bucket down beside him and slowly pet along her nose as she ate.

 

“You two seemed to get along well earlier,” he commented to me. “I watched you guys for a minute before starting on the stall. You looked pretty happy.”

 

He smiled at me and I nodded, slowly stepping forward to stroke my hand down Rosie’s neck as Jack scooped up another handful of food for her.

 

“Yeah we did. I don't think I'll mind working in the barn whenever your father needs help.”

 

We fed Rosie by the handful, switching who fed her with every other scoop. Sometimes she’d meander away and walk around or go back to eating grass. I'm not sure how much time passed but eventually we were most of the way through the bucket and Jack's father came around the side of the barn and waved us over.

 

“You boys want lunch? There's leftovers from dinner and stuff to make sandwiches. I'm about done with the lawnmower, should be done by the time you get Rosie settled in her stall again.”

 

Rosie has followed us over and was sticking her nose into the feed bucket. I snickered and pet along her neck again as Jack exchanged a few more words with his father. When he walked away back to the lawnmower, Rosie lifted her head and shook her mane, done with her meal. Jack and I lead her back to her stall and I hung the bucket back up as Jack carefully took her lead off. She settled into the hay quickly, content to lay down and nap on her free day.

 

“Maybe you can ride her later after lunch and her nap,” Jack offered as we headed out of the barn to where his dad was still tinkering. I felt a rush of skittish excitement at the thought.

 

“I’ve never ridden anything before… but it sounds fun.”

 

Jack snickered and I looked over at him, wondering what I said that was so amusing.

 

“Yeah, I’ll bet you haven't. But really, it's not too hard once you get the hang of it, and she'll be real gentle for your first time.”

 

He laughed again, louder this time, and it finally clicked what he was joking about. I flushed dark red immediately.

 

“Hey! And you're some master at all of this?”

 

He shrugged and looked at me with a smug grin.

 

“I've got more experience than you.”

 

I stopped walking and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, wondering what kind of  _ riding _ he was referring to now. He just laughed louder and leaned on me for support so he didn't fall over, his laughter making my shoulder shake. I grumbled something about having some experience and shoved him off me.

 

“I have had a boyfriend before, you know.”

 

He stood upright quickly and looked at me again, seeming almost surprised.

 

“Oh yeah? Good to know.”

 

I squinted at him suspiciously.

 

“Why?”

 

I sounded hesitant to ask, but I needed to know. Did I not give off enough of the “angsty gay” vibe that he assumed I'd had a girlfriend before? Or did he just think I had never been in a relationship?

 

“Oh, no reason. Just curiosity.”

 

“Mhm…”

 

I tried to sound as unconvinced as possible, but he just shrugged again and resumed walking towards his father, apparently ending the conversation. I hurried the few steps to catch up to him and walked by his side until we got to his father. He sat up from his position lying almost under the lawnmower and wiped his hands on a rag.

 

“Hey, boys. Hungry?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jack and I said in near unison. He looked between us for a moment then stood with a quiet chuckle.

 

“You two are really somethin’ else.”

 

Everyone seemed to be making passes at our dynamic today. It was only day two and how whole family was already trying to get us together. I wasn't sure how I could survive a whole summer of this.

 

I just shook it off and followed him inside, sticking next to Jack but looking up at the sky. It was a sunny day with hardly any clouds, a light breeze like yesterday just strong enough to ruffle a few leaves on the many trees that dotted the property and sway the tall grass, a little too hot for my taste since I had to wear pants, but overall not bad weather. Maybe we could eat lunch outside on the back porch. They didn't seem like the type of people to do anything inside if they didn't have to.

 

Inside, Jack immediately went to the kitchen to wash his hands and take out a couple things for sandwiches. I followed suit and was soon thinking about what I wanted on my sandwich. His dad had lagged behind apparently, maybe putting his tools away, because it was just Jack and I in the kitchen and I didn't hear him in the bathroom down the hall or the connected dining room. Or maybe it was another ploy just to get Jack and I alone. I had to fight to not sigh out loud. This was getting awkward fast. Jack seemed to sense my mood shift and playfully elbowed my arm without looking up from the tomatoes he was slicing.

 

“How's it going, buddy?”

 

I nudged aside the onion slices I finished and started cutting a rather large head of lettuce into more workable wedges.

 

“Goin’ alright, how about you,  _ amigo _ ?”

 

I could hear his smile on his voice as he answered. For some reason, me speaking in Spanish always made him smile.

 

“I'm just dandy, buddy.”

 

I snorted at his word choice and pushed the lettuce leafs away before starting on a block of cheese.

 

“Let's play twenty questions.”

 

I paused mid-slice, surprised by the suggestion and his sincere tone. I expected him to sound teasing or playful when saying those words, but that wasn't the case.

 

“I'll go first,” he offered when I didn't respond. “What's your favorite genre of music?”

 

“I dunno, I like almost any music. Alternative rock maybe. How about you?” 

 

I really wasn't sure, but a quick mental review of my most recent playlist suggested alt-rock being one of my preferred genres.

 

“Wow, I expected something angrier from you,” he joked. I rolled my eyes but didn't try to hide my smile. “I'll be the stereotypical farm boy and say country is my favorite, but I am also a fan of pop. There's something about the repetitive beat that's just so catchy.”

 

I laughed and set the knife I was using in the sink, organizing the sliced ingredients into separate piles so they were easy to pick from.

 

“Also a shock, but I agree. Pop is fun.”

 

He organized the tomatoes and avocado wedges like I had with my ingredients and grinned at me.

 

“Glad you agree. You know, for all the deep dark secrets we've told each other, we never talked about the fun stuff.”

 

I thought over his words for a moment and was almost surprised again at the truth of them. We suffered through near-death experiences together due to the injections, cried through nightmares, whole nine yards, but I didn't even know his favorite color. So…

 

“What's your favorite color?”

 

He was reaching up to grab plates from a wall cabinet, I noticed he only grabbed two, and took a moment to respond. He set the plates down and started assembling his sandwich, getting halfway through before answering.

 

“Blue, I think. But like you with music, I like all colors. You?”

 

I followed him down the short sandwich assembly line and almost laughed when I realized our sandwiches were nearly exactly the same.

 

“I'm a big fan of purple.”

 

We went back and forth like this while we ate lunch on the back porch, as per my suggestion. Jack’s father never made an appearance, but I stopped caring. We had an easy flowing conversation full of laughs and new tidbits of information about ourselves. We both preferred dogs over cats but liked both in general, squats were my favorite exercise while push-ups were his, I never liked Tuesdays but Thursdays were alright, he squinted at me suspiciously and told me the exact opposite for himself, and we managed to agree that Sunday mornings were the most lazy and comfortable. I had to bite back laughter at the story of his first kiss, getting caught on the porch of the girl’s house by her father walking out to take out the trash.  My story wasn’t as interesting, just a quick parting kiss at the end of our first date, him going to his car and me going to mine. It was at least a nice meal and lead to a decent relationship.

 

When lunch was finished, we cleaned up the kitchen and I was ready to head back outside but Jack lingered by the sink. I leaned against the doorway to the kitchen that lead to the foyer and waited. He seemed like he wanted to say something. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, whether because he kept losing his nerve or was rewording what he wanted to say, I wasn’t sure. After a few minutes of our pseudo-staredown, he finally spoke.

 

“So, uh, you wanna go ride Rosie?”

 

I chuckled, knowing that wasn’t what he wanted to say at all, but nodded and walked slowly backwards towards the door, keeping an eye on him.

 

“Let’s go, kid. I’m sure Rosie’s done with her nap by now.”

 

He rolled his eyes at me calling him “kid” but walked over to me anyway. I noticed he didn’t crowd up against me to try to get out the door first like he’d done so many times back at base. He seemed hesitant now, almost cautious around me, but I didn’t dwell on it. As someone who isn’t always in control of their emotions, I understood mood swings and wasn’t about to push him to talk about it if he didn’t want to. We just walked to the barn quietly with a few feet of space between us, him looking at the ground and me looking up at the sky. I hoped he would talk to me soon though, I wasn’t sure if I could handle being here if he was going to be distant for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, confession, I've had this chapter written for months and I was just too dejected about this fic to post it. But here it is. I hope you all liked it.
> 
> Catch me on Tumblr @malika-sauce to cry about these dumb boys


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack's pov

Swapping stories of our first kisses made me remember how much I wanted to kiss him. I thought about it in passing every now and then, at meals when he got food on his lips and licked it off, at night when he brushed his teeth and washed his face, when he just got out of the shower after dressing in the bathroom and his hair was still wet. If I was being honest with myself, I wanted to kiss him all the time and just tried to distract myself with other thoughts so he didn’t get suspicious.

 

On our walk back to the barn, I had to stay a couple steps away from him so I could fight the urge to hold his hand, tug him closer to me, and kiss him. It was an urge I always had to fight, for months now, and it was times like this that made it exceptionally hard. We just walked along in silence, some tension between us that I wanted badly to dispel but had no idea how to. I started whistling a random tune as we neared the barn, unable to stand the awkward silence anymore. Awkward moments between us were rare but terrible.

 

When we finally reached the barn, Rosie was standing in her stall with her head poking out, looking over at us as soon as we walked in. Thankful for the distraction, I walked over to her quickly and greeted her with my usual large amount of pets and kisses and sweet words of praise. She was such a wonderful, hard-working animal and really made a lot of jobs here easier. Gabe hung a few feet back still, watching both Rosie and I with a look of vague apprehension, like he was suddenly unsure about everything.

 

“Come on over, man. You know she’s nice, no need to be shy.”

 

I could’ve been talking about myself too when I told him there was no need to be shy. I was also being shy and dancing around my feelings for him like they weren’t impacting my entire life, but that was vastly different than not riding a horse. He just had to hop on and hope for the best since Rosie already liked him. Not like my situation at all.

 

I shook out of my weird train of thought as Gabe came closer and slowly stroked along Rosie’s nose, his nervous look fading into a calm smile. I moved away to gather the reins and saddle, thinking of everything under the sun except how soft he looked just now and how much I still wanted to kiss him. He so rarely looked peaceful when awake, but being around Rosie seemed to have a very soothing effect on him. And the opposite effect on me. His smile looked so damn kissable.

 

I lingered in the corner of her stall for a little longer than necessary, pretending to check over all the leather even though I knew my dad kept it in perfect shape, just trying to get my blush to fade. I hadn’t blushed this easily around someone since my first girlfriend, this was ridiculous. What was so different about Gabe that reduced me to an awkward mess in two seconds flat?

 

“You okay there, Jackie?”

 

My grip on the leather straps tightened and I took a deep breath before turning around and flashing him a smile.

 

“Yep, just making sure everything’s good to go.”

 

He could probably see right through the brave front I tried to put up, but I ignored that and set about getting Rosie dressed to ride. I could feel him watching me as I adjusted the final straps on her saddle, making my fingers falter over the buckle and pinching my finger I pulled my hand back with a hiss of pain, quickly shaking my hand in attempt to lessen the feeling It wouldn’t bleed, there was hardly a scratch to show for it, but there was an angry red spot on my fingertip that would probably bruise soon.

 

“Ah, fuck.” Rosie whinnied at me and stomped a hoof, seeming annoyed enough to make me laugh. “Sorry, girl. I know you don’t like swearing.”

 

I pet her side for a moment with my uninjured hand in apology before looking up at Gabe to see him still smiling at her. My heart almost melted, it was an adorable sight.

 

“You gonna stare at me much longer, or can we get going?”

 

A dark blush immediately spread across my face at his question. I huffed and looked at him with narrowed eyes.

 

“I was not staring, and yeah we can go outside.”

 

I caught him rolling his eyes before I finally looked away. I was staring, but he was very nice to stare at. I slowly led Rosie out into the fenced-in area we had her in earlier while cleaning her stall. She followed along easily until we got to the grass, where she stopped to rip up a few mouthfuls before continuing on again until we got to the middle of the yard.

 

“So since you’ve never seen a horse up close, do you have any idea at all how to mount one?”

 

I fought to keep the smile off my face as he looked over Rosie, eyes narrowed as if in deep concentration.

 

“Uh, no. Gonna teach me?”

 

I let my smile show now, but turned it into more of a smirk. Maybe I wasn’t brave enough to actually kiss him, but I could still flirt.

 

“Maybe. I’d kinda like to see you struggle a bit first, try mounting her on your own.”

 

He leveled a flat, unamused gaze at me and I couldn’t help the laughter I let out. At least it seemed to soften his expression.

 

“Alright, alright.”   
  
I walked over next to him and pointed to the rounded knob at the front of the saddle.

 

“Grip there and step up into the stirrups and swing your other leg over. You’ve gotta do it kinda fast to get the momentum you need to get up and over.”   
  
He looked apprehensive again as he regarded Rosie, who was standing still with her head down to eat more grass. She was the picture of docility.

 

“Come on, you were all excited a minute ago. Just a quick two-second hop and you’re up,” I coaxed as if talking to Rosie and not the human about to ride her.

 

When he still didn’t make a move to climb up, I stepped forward and mounted Rosie instead. In one smooth motion, I went from standing on the ground to sitting astride a horse and looking down at him.

 

“See? No problem.”

 

In another smooth motion, I slid off her and landed next to him, smiling encouragingly. I was not about to let him back down from this. And, I had a devious idea.

 

“Need me to hold onto you while you hop up so you keep your balance?”

 

I elbowed his side gently, keeping my action as teasing as my tone. He most likely didn’t need help keeping his balance, but it was fun to offer. We’ve done more difficult things at training and he excelled at everything he did there. He just looked down at the grass and kicked at a small rock hiding between the blades.

 

“Maybe…”

 

I wasn’t sure I heard him right so I nudged him again. Would he admit to wanting me to help him? He sure as hell didn’t  _ need _ any help.

 

“What was that?”

 

He looked up at me then Rosie then back to me. A smirk slowly spread across his face, much different from his shy demeanor just a moment ago. 

 

“Wanna help me get mounted?”

 

I froze as I processed what he just asked and the tone in which he asked it. As I slowly realized the teasing words, I felt my face heat up with what was no doubt a very vivid blush. He immediately started laughing and leaned against Rosie for support so he didn’t fall over.

 

“Oh, Jackie, what a face!” He laughter spilled over into his words, making them shaky with amusement.

 

I finally gathered myself enough to glare at him and hit his shoulder with much more force than my previous nudge. This was just terribly embarrassing, because I did want to help him get mounted, in multiple ways, but I was not about to let him know that.

 

“Okay. I see how you’re gonna play this. I’m gonna stand against the fence then and watch you mount on your own.”

 

His laughter, which was fading, redoubled. What did I say this time?

 

“Aw, it’s no fun to mount myself. Don’t wanna gave me a helping hand anymore?”

 

His face was going red too, but it could’ve been from the heat or from the force of his laughter. My awkward blush was far darker and almost humiliating at this point. This was much different from our usual playful flirting and I was never very smooth despite what he may think, I was in completely uncharted territory with someone I genuinely liked and had no idea what to do.

 

“Gabriel, do you want to ride the damn horse or not?”

 

I tried to keep my tone stern, but my words wavered slightly, cracking under the weight of my embarrassment. Despite that, I held my ground and look at him straight on, not averting my gaze to the ground no matter how badly I wanted to.

 

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”

 

He was still laughing quietly to himself but he grabbed the saddle and hoisted himself up and over almost effortlessly, sitting atop Rosie with a posture that made him seem like a natural. I let out an impressed whistle, surprised at how smooth he made the action look. Sure, we both had excellent balance and he had seen me mount her just a few minutes ago, but most people struggled their first few times.

 

“Impressed, farm boy? Even a city slicker like me knows how to sit correctly.”

 

He said “city slicker” with the worst southern accent I had ever heard, despite us not even being in the south, mocking my tone from earlier during breakfast. My blush was finally fading a little, but some pink persisted. I always seemed to be blushing around Gabe, he made me feel all warm inside.

 

“Yes, very smooth. Have fun, I’m gonna pick up some stuff in the barn.”

 

I patted against Rosie’s side a few times to spur her into walking before heading into the barn. I could feel Gabe’s eyes on me as I walked away, but I needed to cool off after our strangely intense conversation earlier and watching my biggest crush ever ride around on my favorite horse was not going to help.

 

The shade of the barn was welcome against my hot cheeks as I stood in a corner that hid me from view from the yard. Lunch instigated this strange charged mood between us, like we were both waiting for something to happen but the other one had to do it. What were we waiting on? What was I hoping he would do? Kiss me? Maybe. Ending the meal talking about our first kisses was perhaps not the best idea, but the conversation sort of stalled after that. Once you trade stories like that with someone you like, what else is there to say? Were we supposed to kiss then and now we’re stuck in a stalemate?

 

I exhaled sharply and ran a hand through my hair. It would stand up in all weird directions, but I didn’t care at the moment. I had to find manual labor to do so I could distract myself from these very confusing thoughts. After looking around the barn, which was already very clean thanks to all the work my dad had done in the past few weeks, I grabbed a big push broom and started sweeping the floor. The concrete floor was smooth and easy to sweep, allowing me to fall into the simple repetitive motion and let my mind go mostly blank.

 

Starting at the doors we always came through, I pushed dust and dirt and loose hay towards the other door that opened to the fenced yard where Gabe and Rosie were slowly meandering around. When I got to the other end, I leaned on the broom by the door and watched them, unable to fight back my smile. He seemed much more at peace here than he did at base, and I hoped it was because he felt like he had a new home, a new family. I knew we could never replace his real family, and it was far too soon to even consider that, but he seemed comfortable with us and living here. 

 

After a few minutes of watching them, I put the broom away then walked over, my hands stuffed into my pockets. As I walked closer, I felt the unfortunately familiar sense of awkwardness slowly rise in my chest.

 

“Hey guys. How’s it going?”

 

I leaned against a section of fence that was near them but still under a tree so I could stand in the shade. Gabe looked up and smiled at me before gently tugging the reins to tell Rosie to walk over to me. I reached out to pet her neck when they were close enough and murmured random happy talk to her about the nice weather and how well-behaved she was. Gabe snickered at me but I ignored him, Rosie thrived on praise and I loved making my favorite horse happy. They were gentle, intelligent creatures that deserved just as much love as humans.

 

As Gabe went to dismount, gripping the knob on the saddle firmly to help keep his balance, Rosie shifted so she could lean her head down and eat more grass. The movement made Gabe sway and almost lose his footing just as he swung his leg over her back. Instinctively, I reached out and grabbed his waist to steady him and help him slowly lower to the ground. I probably kept ahold of him for longer than I had to, and I was slow to pull my hands away, but I didn’t want to let go. I had been spoiled by all the physical contact between us lately, and the few hours between waking up in his arms to now felt like too long to go without touching. But I cleared my throat and stepped away, hoping I still seemed casual.

 

“You good?”

 

My voice probably gave me away, sounding strained, but neither of us commented on it.

 

“Yeah. Thanks.”   
  
His voice sounded similar, so maybe I wasn’t the only one affected by our few-seconds-too-long contact. I let out a silent sigh of relief and took hold of Rosie’s reins before heading to the barn, gently tugging to get her to follow. Gabe followed along on the other side of her, his hand on her neck again. They seemed to get along very well. When we first got her as a foal, she was energetic and didn’t listen to anyone, a trend which continued for years. My dad was ready to sell her if she couldn’t start doing her work correctly, but she got better thankfully and has been our best worker since then. She had always been a little skittish around new people when we hired summer help, but she took to Gabe instantly.

 

I took her gear off quickly and hung it neatly on the walls of her stall before closing the door and letting her rest in the hay. Now it was just Gabe and I, and a whole afternoon open with no chores or other people around. I had no idea where my dad disappeared to, maybe checking over the fields or perimeter fences. He was very meticulous about the fences.

 

“So,” Gabe dragged out the word, sounding as awkward as I felt. “Anything else we have to do today?”

 

I took my phone out of my pocket to check the time and winced when I saw it only just past 2pm. Dinner wouldn’t need to be started for a few more hours, and the kids wouldn’t be home until around then too. What could we do to fill the time?

 

“Nope.” I said the ending “p” sound with a sharp pop. It was supposed to sound nonchalant, but also came off as awkward as his question. “We could go swimming in the pond,” I offered. I really didn’t want to have to deal with him shirtless and wet but there was nothing else to do. Small town farm life wasn’t all that exciting.

 

But his eyes lit up at the idea, so maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if he was excited about it.

 

“Yeah, swimming sounds nice. Anything to get out of these pants.” I snorted at his word choice, and it took him a moment to realize why. He looked sideways at me and shrugged before heading to the other end of the barn towards the house. “Pants on a summer day is a terrible idea.”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s what you meant.”

 

I walked along beside him, closer this time than on the way here, fighting desperately against the awkward tension I still felt. Maybe he didn’t feel it, because he leaned over and nudged my side as we walked. I nudged him back and it soon escalated into a game of who could shove the other harder without falling over. After a particularly hard push from him, I tripped over a hidden rock and landed sprawled out in the grass on my back, laughing breathlessly. He stood over me and leaned down with his hands on his knees, smirking at me.

 

“I win.” He sounded more victorious than probably necessary, like he just won some grand competition and didn’t just manage to push me down first.

 

I narrowed my eyes at him and reached up to grab his shirt before he could lean away, and tugged him down with me. He landed with a loud huff next to me, probably knocked breathless like I was when I fell.

 

“Did you now?” I tried to sound as victorious as he did, but he had a unique tone when he was standing over me, almost smug.

 

He sat up and looked down at me again, looking happy. I was knocked breathless again by the sight- his dark curly hair more messy than usual after a day outside, the sun making his brown skin glow, his dark eyes lit up with amusement, and the purest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. My hand twitched in the grass as I fought hard to resist the urge to reach up and just run my fingertips across his lips. His smile looked very soft and kissable. The longer we sat and laid like that, the more I felt like he was looking over me the same way I did to him, making me feel self-conscious. I hoped he liked what he saw as much as I did.

 

After a charged moment that felt more like a decade of us just staring at each other in the golden afternoon sun, he finally stood and held out a hand to help me up.

 

“So, swimming?”

 

I stared at his hand for a moment before grabbing it tightly and hoisting myself up off the ground, letting go of it as soon as I was standing again. I wanted to keep hold of it, to walk hand-in-hand to the pond, but the situation in the barn felt like enough awkward contact for one day. Instead, we walked side-by-side to the pond, taking our time and soaking up the warm sunlight. There was no rush, we had hours until the kids got back and months before summer ended. That was plenty of time to figure out how to kiss my best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm such trash at keeping this updated. I'm working on personal writing too and uni restarted so I have very little time to dedicate to this. But I'll keep going if you all like it!
> 
> Catch me on Tumblr @malika-sauce


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